Domestic Violence

Today, at a domestic violence shelter, the volunteer coordinator asked us what we would guess were the top 4 professions of abusers. She gave us the clue that it's people who are used to having a lot of power and influence.

Professional athletes
Clergy
Policemen
Military personnel

Her point was that when judges mandate anger management classes for abusers, they're putting a fine solution to the wrong problem. The problem is one of control, not directly of mismanaged anger. When someone grows accustomed to controlling their surroundings: either other people or their success, this can often translate into home and personal life, thus, abuse sometimes ensues.

This was a critical thought for me yesterday because I spent a whole unit of my public policy class in Brasil in the Fall talking about the roots of domestic violence. Many conclusions were that unemployed men, who were under great financial stress would try to control the one thing they thought they could control, the house, while everything else around them seemed out of their control. While, this is likely truthful, and high domestic violence rates in refugee camps might also be an example of how frustration and poverty can lead to partner abuse, I never found it to be a full answer. Why, then, is there so much violence among middle class and wealthy people?

There are of course many other factors that may lead someone to abuse their partner, but perhaps the human desire to control others, when corrupted into an addiction, is the first step to understanding this type of violence.